I am not one of zose fussy, yappy ladies who are forever complaining about zis or zat. I am known for my submissive, yielding, dishy little personality as well as my perky breasts.
'owever I must say zat Nadia's 'ygiene leaves a lot to be desired. Before I see 'er, I am smelling 'er. And Kirstin is so dowdy and frumpish! It is no wonder nobody 'as invited 'er to perform in ze top girls club. She would frighten all ze nice gentlemen away with 'er freckly gigantic face like ze moon.
'opefully I can give 'er an acid peel while she's asleep in our - 'ow do you say? - "digs".
I am stuck down 'ere for another two weeks. I 'ave 'ad a little affair with a postman, but nothing to write 'ome about. Wait for me, Edinburgh! I am coming!
It brings to mind a sweet afternoon I spent with a 'ighland warrior in my last term at school. I 'ad excelled in gym, and 'e was called in to 'elp us girls improve our shotput technique. 'e 'ad ze arms of a brute and ze 'eart of a bear. I was so taken by 'is tufty neck 'air, and 'e by my naive charm and delight.
"What are you doing?" I asked 'im, as he plunged a digit into my genital zone.
"Dae ye like it, Lauren?" 'e asked me, ze shotput still clasped in his grisly arm.
"Oui, oui," I cried, as 'e launched ze shotput across ze sports pitch, smashing a nearby window and stifling my cry.
It was marvellous.
North'ampton was a dream. I was ze most popular act in ze fishmarket, I won't go on about it. Ellis is certainly an 'andsome young man - deceptively conversational. I was overjoyed to feel 'is 'ard member pressing against me through the material. Ze cad!
Of course, 'e and I spent some time together afterwards. 'E was overcome and filled with awe.
Nadia and Kirstin are such 'ard-nosed bitches - zey are working me like a prize cow.
Love,
Laure-Anne x
I 'ave been asked to appear at a show about bodies and objects!
What kind of a girl do they zink I am?!
I will do it, of course.
The Red 'edge'og, zis Wednesday, 7 pm.
See you after,
Laure-Anne x
I have just returned from Gay Paris with my girlfriends, Nadia et Kirstin, who wanted to go to brave France for research for our little show. They wanted to absorb ze sights and ze sounds of the baguettes, Tour Eiffel and other gallic treats. We took some lovely photographs, 'ad a super croissant, sent some postcards to chums and then zoomed back on the Chunnel. It was marvellous. Have a look at my photos on the Sights and Sounds page.
I could do with a beer. I'm parched.
Laure-Anne D.
So it was that in the Spring of 1979 I became the owner of: a Roman terra cotta perfume vase from Apulia, 3rd century BC, supported by a crowned woman's head; a clay Egyptian funeral statuette of a priest, and a Greek pottery vase, 4th century BC depicting Herakles and others with friezes.
So much for money. I was as much concerned at that time with the ravages caused by my job. I had been at the Top Club well over two years, during which, allowing for holidays of various kinds, I had experienced an average of 3 orgasms a day, according to my very rough estimate. Marvellous, obviously, but the fluctuations in pace and late hours wrought havoc on the nerves.
Laure-Anne D.
Bonjour! Last week I attened the launch of the fabulous Five Pound Fringe of which my super little show is a part. I went with my friends Kirstin and Nadia, and of course my Uncle Xavier, who got totally smashed, lol.
I 'ad a few little kisses, a glass of tasty Pimms and I met some fellow comical types who are heading to Edinburgh with me this Summer. To check out the hot photo evidence, click 'ere. Ooh la la! It was marvellous.
Nobody noticed i was a budding hedonist, one of those people who
believe that pleasure is the Chief Good and the Proper Aim. I won't go
on about it.
The meal was ambrosial: following a glass of champagne, we had
consomme froid, toast de crevettes a la Rothschild, gratin de fruits
de mer, salade Nicoise, plateau de fromage (which neither of us
touched), ile flottante. The wines, white and red , were in decanters
and neither of us knew what they were. It was marvellous.
- Laure-Anne D.
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